This site is no longer being updated, but will remain here for your viewing pleasure – if you choose. Be careful, I was quite dramatic.
To see what I’ve been up to as of late (the new blog) – check out the www.simpyelaborate.com.
Thanks for the many years of loyal readership …
She didn’t kill us, but we almost died.
It was day one to a perfect, high butt.
Hillary Clinton addressed Americans last week.
I don’t know what it was about, or when exactly, but I remember her making a joke about the last twenty years of her life and she made a quip of the things her husband has put her through. She laughed, the audience laughed, her daughter standing right behind her laughed – and so did Mr. William himself. And I remember turning my head while getting ready for work and looking at the screen, at these such serene, sincere faces and wondering how on earth they got passed everything.
I know it’s been like eleven years, maybe more, maybe less – but how did they do it? No one separated, no one got divorced, no one did anything. Except maybe forgive. The media followed that story more than they followed how well Mr. Clinton was running the country yet when the questions arose to Hillary – was she staying or going – no one could get an answer. She was polite, calm and poised. She was private, most of all, and made her decision. And everyone judged. Everyone. Whether they were for or against the commitment to stay; everyone had an opinion.
In her memoir, she states that “no one understands her like Bill does” and love was the reason that she stayed. That’s all she said. That’s it, and whether you liked it or not, you were just going to have to accept the decision because in the end, it was nobody else’s life but her own. I think we forget that more often than not.
I’ve definitely taken a step back and looked at this past year a bit differently. I’ve been forced to realize that you can’t always trust someone, but you should always try. And forgiveness, it’s important. And although I believe it’s important for the one who needs to be forgiven, I think the concentration on it should really be within the person who has to do the forgiving. In the end, it’s really only doing more harm than good to focus on what was done, and not what has been done since.
My mom’s a grudge holder. I’m beginning to see myself as some part of a grudge holder as well, and it scares me!! The thing is, I noticed that the grudges I keep, or the things I remember the most, are usually with the people who matter the most with me. Why is that? Because I don’t care about the people I don’t hold grudges with, what they’ve done doesn’t matter – I can always get passed it. I can only wish that it was reversed.
It’s not impossible, I know this – I just have to let go. Can time heal all wounds if it’s continually thought about? Can you just fast forward yourself to a time when nothing in the past (at this time) means anything anymore? It can even mean something, it just doesn’t mean everything?
Mistakes are always made, and we all make them – but can they be forgiven, really and truly? If I’m asking myself that question, maybe I’m on the right track to trying to find out.
How did I get here?
We were asked in class tonight what experiences we’ve had in our lives that have shaped who we’ve become and I was forced to wonder – what experiences have we had in our lives that haven’t shaped who we’ve become?
I just got home from work and I’m watching One Tree Hill, drinking a glass of Rosé wine and watching Theodore play with my feet that are currently protected under the covers from his sharp teeth. And I can’t believe this is my life. But not in a way that makes me feel pathetic, in a way where I can stare in disbelief and go “wow, this is happening”.
I feel better, I feel good, I feel okay. I feel fine and it’s 2009 – so far my plan is working. I find myself wishing I could spend every minute with this amazing boy who purrs when I see him, meows when I get in the door, and can’t let me take two steps without him following right behind. He’s making me smile, he’s making me feel important to someone – and opening my eyes to the fact that maybe my little three month old kitten isn’t the only one I matter to.
I have missed feeling like this, really I have. And it’s nice to have it back.